I'm on my way to houston and these trees in the scenery told me a story

The thought of the pine needles poking the palms of my hands and the smell of the dew that would overlay each of the tiny portions of the leaf and the images of a winter wonderland occupy my imagination as I am traveling on this second day of spring. I am not even one who is fond of the blizzarding season but those trees made me think of its beautiful display, one I prefer to witness from the inside of a warm home.
Now, as I pass through a forest of leafless and lifeless trees, a sense of sadness embodies the area. Its as if they are just staring as we pass by, hoping to be noticed, to be helped or relieved from the stale atmosphere they are trapped in. Hundreds and hundreds of withering and wilting bark stand there awaiting the moment when they will finally be beautiful again. When they will bloom and blossom and blow lightly in the days breeze. On occassion a pre-mature life will emerge from the darkness. One who is strong already, standing tall and confident and covered in the perfect outfit, adorned in ivory petals and swaying as if it had long blonde hair that the wind is running its fingers through.
My head has concocked this scenario where all of the sad trees are very envious of the springs first completion. That they don't understand why she is infact completed before they can even be consulted. Why she can proudly display the blue ribbon before the competition has even began. They are irritated by the methods of their creator and instead of being naked and proud, they turn cold, and bitter and slouch as if the are tapping their foot impatiently while they cross their arms and frown.
And as more and more beauties are visible as I continue down this road, the sad get sadder and the lively get livelier. It makes me wonder if the dark and dull are the ice queens of the winter time, the time when the pine trees really shine. Initially I extended some sorrow to these weeping woods but now I look at them almost in disgust because they feel entitled to the recognition and rewards, even if though they may not have demonstrated the dedication or effort those it is surrounded by have. And as the dantily decorated trees appeal to my view, I begin to admire the tallest tree on the road. The tree wilts for noone and no thing and understands its time will come when it is right. It has one bud beginning to blossom.

I wrote you a letter

I wrote you a letter
but I tucked it away
I suppose I am saving it
for a rainier day.

I wrote you a letter
not just in my head
but my heart does want answers
to the thoughts in its head

But I stored your letter
this one that I wrote
but one day I will send it
one day, I hope

and I hope you'll reply
I hope you'll respond
I hope you'll send back
so I'll finally tread on.

I will tread,
I will flee,
I will leave in the night.
If your true with answers I can end this fight

But until I grow strong
Until I let go
your letter's in my pocket
and I still dont know.

Denial

Blind-fold my eyes
Plug up my ears
Keep your mouth locked
so I won't have to hear

The truth is what hurts
Your honesty lies
Spare me your story
and let me deny.

I will sit on your carpet
Sulk in your smell
Continue pretending you have nothing to tell.

Don't uncover my eyes
I like what I see
I'm to scared to acknowledge that I'm not what you need

Let me keep my ears clogged
Let me bow down my head
Let me turn my back
and ignore this instead.

My drawers will stay full
My bags unpacked
My body will lie next to yours
and we will still be in tact

I will want what I want
Believe what I choose
Read in to only the things I opt to

My rediculous behavior will discomfort those around
but I refuse to accept
That you were something to impound.

So I will look away
Hide under the covers
Stay asleep in your bed
til' this nightmare is over


Because I love what I love
So I do what I do
squeezing my eyes tightly
Avoiding what's true.

Reaching

The longer I think
And the longer I dream
And the longer I hope
That you will soon be

Be here with me
Clear in my sight
Warm to the touch
That I lay with at night

But we're too far
And your too far gone
And I'm left wishing
Left sitting alone

Alone full of hope
Alone in this crowd
Reaching for something
To turn me around.

So I'll reach and reach
And I'll reach for someone new
When ultimately its clear
I'm reaching for you.

1/29/07

I Leave

Your vain and your shallow
and your heart is so hollow
yet you don't understand why we turn.
Why we flee in a hurry,
have no choice but to scurry
for fear of what else you'll tear down.
Your methods so mad
and your thoughts are so mad
and these tricks that you hide up your sleeve.
This madness is mad,
your betrayal so sad and
you don't understand why we leave.
Your head must be jumbled
To think what you think
and to do all the things that you do.
And For that I leave
While Im still able to breathe
And before I have no more to give you.

1/22/08

dont meddle where you're unwanted...

Dreaming

When my eyes are closed
and ears wide open
and my body lying there dead,
the clearest view of me and you
appears vivdly in my head.
You whisk me away to a magical place,
where fairies and slippers are true,
I can click my heels at any pace
and find my way back to you.

1/22/08

Dive In

I don't just like to wade there,
in the water all alone
Or quickly dip my toes in
then jump back because its cold.

I like to spread my arms out wide
as wide as they will go
Dive right in,
head first
And let the rest of it unfold.

My heart is big and willing
My love's innocent and true
My soul is naive and hopeful
And is holding out for you.

I may be young,
I may be scared,
I may need my protection
For broken hearts come at all ages
and noones desire is rejection.

But in the end
I still dive in
My breath inhaled so deep
Because love is love
A mountain to climb
A peak to try to reach.

12/23/07


one of my favorites...i find myself to be interested in the ones who cant keep their interest these days.
and whats so wrong with wanting to be protected?